“Crazy is repeating the same actions and expecting different results”.
I have been a Loser most of my life. From a positive perspective I am really good at being a Loser. Every diet program I have committed to I have succeeded at. Without exception I have lost weight. The total pounds misplaced has varied but the final results have been the same. They find their way back home.
Keeping the pounds off permanently has never happened. In fact, over the years they have become more adept at finding their way back and bringing long-lost friends with them. They always catch me by surprise, in the dark, while I sleep. All of my best intentions are buried under their weight. Every weight loss success has ended with the pounds finding their way back. For every diet I have successfully followed, there is an additional ninety pounds that circles my life. With each new diet I have only succeeded in handing my life over to the size of my jeans.
“Crazy is repeating the same actions and expecting different results”. The action repeated is choosing a “diet” with the goal of losing weight. To become acceptable when I look in the mirror. To have my jeans be a single digit.
If I am honest with myself, I have never looked in a mirror and found the woman standing there acceptable. No changes required. It has not mattered what the number on the scale read or the size of my jeans. I could do better. I could be better. On any given day, when I looked in the mirror, I have not been able to accept that I am perfect just the way I am.
To change the results I must change the actions. I will no longer be a Loser. I will be kind to the woman who looks back at me every morning. I will love her and take care of her. Being a Loser most of my life has infected every part of who I am. Rather than standing on a scale, measuring my waist and looking for the next level of deprivation, I will love myself.
Dieting has made me crazy. I have given up years of energy trying to win a game that only creates Losers. To be successful in my life I have to stop defining myself as a Loser. To be successful I need to care about more than the number on a scale, I need to care for the whole woman who is more than the size of her jeans.